mmmmmmorning

Z, Henry, and I were all up early this morning reading, studying and cuddling. But it was one of those morning were we just stayed in bed and enjoyed each others company. This is why I love the mornings.

celebration time

we went out with some peeps last night for a little celebration, as you can see there was much red wine consumed. and i felt totally loved and awesome.

i will call you soon cause i want to catch up more, but these last few days i have really felt awesome. like i am able to dream more because now i realize that dreams really do come true.

turns out they are not just some silly thing that people pretend to believe in, but they are real, and when you work hard for something and you get it, oh man, cannot beat that feeling.

anyway, i wish you were there last night. it would have made the night complete.

hope to talk to you soon.

sorry about the absence

Wanted to share this beautiful thing with you. I love you so very much and you have been so supportive through all the years and always encouraged me to follow my dreams, and look, I am doing it!

Cannot wait for you to buy me a drink in celebration.

27.11.10 - routine

after a day of recovery from visits and indigestion, i am returned to my saturday routine of morning book, day cleaning, and unending prep for classes.

my sweet husband brought me a cup of cafe de olla (very sweet but tasty traditional mexican coffee) to enjoy as i finished my book. have you read the kite runner? i couldn't put it down, but mostly because the images were so terrible, so vivid, that i needed it to be resolved, needed some happiness to come out of the horror

26.11.10 - post-t-day

am annoyed because my posts and pictures from yesterday failed. so this is just part one of today's post but i'm giving up for now.
just writing to say hello, happy turkey recovery day, and i love you.

All My Recipes for Thanksgiving

And here is the plan for my day- cook, cook, cook and then cook some more tomorrow! And I could not be more excited about it. Wish you were here to do some baking with me, you are a great cooking partner. Miss our days of creating magnificence together, remember our cooking day before my wedding, that was amazing, such good preparation for the event. You are amazing.

Lazy Break Mornings

"I wonder, if in our modern, literal-minded age, being able to declare "what I do not see I do not know" is a mark, even a cornerstone, of a poet's faith. I do not mean that we're pragmatists, like Thomas, who asked to see and touch Christ's wounds, but rather that writing teaches us to recognize when we have reached the limits of our language, and our knowing, and are dependent on our senses to "know" for us."

Kathleen Norris

my newest member of the family

I understand what you are saying girl..... I just wish I could fly down there right now, we would have the best damn Mexican Thanksgiving together. I cannot wait till you are my tour guide, cause you will be the best!

I hope that your Sunday morning is redeemed.

21.11.10 - another sunday

she reminds me of you.

and he reminds me of zach.

apparently you two are a match made in olmec history.

Night with the boys

Sorry I cut out on you, my phone died and I just got home. But I will call you again soon, probably tomorrow.

Have a great time with the family and know that I love you so much.

19.11.10 - prepped

alex's parents arrive today.
i'm delaying going in to work because i don't have to teach till 11.
so this morning has a nice aura of limbo,
a few stolen moments for myself
before i go back to work and pubescent children
before i begin to assume a week-long role of hostess.

i'm trying to enjoy the moments and not be distracted by things i could clean before they get here!

a glimpse

i feel like some mornings life opens up and you get a glimpse of how good it is. this morning was one of those, i woke early and watched the sun rise. it is a reminder that life is good, that faith is worth it and i hope you get a glimpse too today.

17.11.10 - cat palace

we don't have a garden or a house to fix up,
so we built the cat a playplace out of the empty washing machine box.
it is pretty awesome, and we had a fun time.

also, our curtains are pretty hideous.

sometimes life goes too fast

waiting to go to work

i still get nervous to go to work sometimes, i just don't feel like i have it down completely yet, even though i have worked there for 6 months. i guess it is this only work once a week thing, hard to get really comfortable with something you only do once a week, that is what i try to remind myself about running, but i cannot seem to do that one more.

we still have not had a real snow, and it is the middle of november.

weird.

16.11.10 - blimey

mexican tip #1:
when slicing a lime for squeezing, don't cut it in half.
just slice off the edge, avoiding the core kind of like a mango.
and then you will have a perfectly squeezable piece and no fear of fishing lime seeds out of your beer or cocktail (although i do enjoy watching the seeds float up and down, up and down, in my afternoon corona)

The Age of Innocence

Monday Morning Coffee Break

Somehow it has all

added up to song-

earth, air, rain and light,

the labor and the heat,

the mortality of the young.

I will go free of other

singing, I will go

into the silence of my songs, to hear

this song clearly.

W.B.

wish you were here to have coffee with. cause you are my favorite.

14.11.10 - what we saw fit

"In our days we will say
What our ghosts will say
We gave the world what it saw fit
And what'd we get?"

...sunday morning plans and reflections with music in the background,
songs you used to play in the shire

13.11.10 - saturday school

spending my long weekend working on school stuff seems semi-awful, but it will be good to feel prepared for a change.
i am ready for life to feel easy again, for the moment when not every part of my day seems to take effort and discussion. i remember advocating an intentional life, but like your musings on the weather, i wonder if perhaps we miss something by not simply allowing each day to bring what it will, by working so hard to get ahead that we forget to just be okay with the present.

Saturday Morning Glory

winter is here, although the light snow we got is melting quickly and the sun is shining. i love how the weather is strangely much like life. the cold never lasts for too long, it is always driven away by something greater, the warmth of the sun. the snow always melts, even though it may take time, and then we begin again. it is a cycle, it is love, it is friendship, it is pain, it is action, it is a mystery, it is life. i think about how we use to live, not that long ago, when we did not know what the weather was going to be like that day or that week, how different must that have been, i wonder if i would prepare more or less? did it make the seasons of life feel more natural, less out of control- if we could not even predict the weather, how could we predict life? but now we know more, we know what the weather will do hour by hour, and we expect more of the same for life.

how wonderful that some things are still a mystery!

familiar

my images are not loading.... annoying! but it was a picture of snow, a little bit of the familiar for you. love you friend.

11.11.10 - coffee breaks

i am visiting starbucks frequently these days, because it is oddly comforting to walk in amongst the christmas decor (yes, they have already begun selling christmas stuff here) and know that it is exactly the same as the starbucks down the street from you or in downtown denver or near my parents. and when i am feeling far away, it is nice to know that i still am not all that different, my life is not so strange after all.

10.11.10 - oh, bureaucracy

9 hours of taxi cabs between office, numerous signatures and minimal comprehension (on my part), i am now cleared to pay taxes here and have federally funded surgeries. hurrah.

first real frost

last night i accidently took a double dose of ny-quil, i was totally out of it to say the least. but i slept, for the first time in several nights i slept, although z did say i was making some really funny noises while sleeping.

friend, i have been thinking about you a ton. i have been remembering when we were in romania and the first time the seasons changed from summer to fall. i remember an emptiness inside, i remember feeling lost, tired and alone. i remember nothing felt settling and loneliness was always right outside our door.

i also remember reading this passage a lot:

"After dinner the children and I sing songs and tell stories while I get them in thier nightgowns, and all is comfortable and familiar and safe and loving. We go into the bathroom to brush teeth and wash faces, and suddenly Lena looks at me and asks, Grandmadeleine, is it all right?... I think of my mother watching her husband cough his lungs out in the cold light of the Alps, and of my father setting his name down on the empty page of the diary for the new year. It was not a tranquil world for my grandchildren's forebears, and it is in the lives of these long-gone men and women that I find the answer to Lena's question. I must answer for her, looking down at her serious, upturned face, and I can answer truthfully only if I have my feet planted very firmly on rock.

I think of the warmth of the rock at the brook, and that I will never know more than a glimpse of the ouisa of the small green frog- or of my mother- or of the two little girls-

and this is all right, too.

Is it really all right? Lena persists.

Yes, Lena, it is really all right.

And the two girls and I climb into the four-poster bed to sing songs and tell stories."

Madeleine L'Engle

(from The Summer of the Great-Grandmother)

9.11.10 - don't think twice (it's all right)

today has been sad,
but not in a gut-wrenching misplaced expectations sort of way.
today has been sad like an old sagging porch, just kind of tired
and worn out.
of course dear friend i understand,
i really really do. and i'm not disappointed cuz i hadn't started really hoping yet.
its just that that was going to be something to look forward too,
something to get me through.
and now i'll look forward to seeing you in the spring
(and it will be better and longer and warmer)
but spring is far off; and this not-begun winter already feels long.
so i'm a bit off today, because i have to make it through without you.
then again - you are always there; thank god for that. thank god i never really have to make it through without you.

my life these days

i am sad this morning, i wish that i could have come down to see you. it sucks. i hope you know that i love you, that if there was any other way i would have done it. just not good timing. but don't think that this means i don't miss you like crazy, everyday i miss you, everyday i think about you, everyday i wish that i could see you. steph, you are a friend for the ages. i love your heart, the way you see things, the way you see into my life and the way you give me hope. again, i am sorry, but soon i will be down there and we will drink tequila together, and talk for hours and walk until our feet hurt. love you with all my heart.

still no answer

hey love- so it appears my old iphone won't connect to my computer anymore. so i cannot upload pictures. lame. also, i feel too terrible to mess with it right now. z and i went to the doc and we both have strep and a sinus infection, lovely. so today has not been a great to discuss the adventure. but when zach gets up we will talk about it. talk to you tonight.

8.11.10 - hopin'

december 3rd?
please?

sick day

Oh the sick days.....

7.11.10 - ideas

i am still in my pajamas, but i am accomplishing much.
and i am hatching a plot.
call me!!!!!

6.11.10 - order

finally time to straighten up my house, change my sheets (first time for the red ones!!!), and put away all the clothes still packed in various suitcases and backpacks.
it feels good to unload.
also i am going to help alex with the rooftop laundry for the first time ever - and i am excited.
it is the little things.

saturday morning blues

I am up early this saturday, i dont really know why, i was so tired last night, but this rug is kinda what i feel like. like people have stomped on me and walked all over and now i just want to lay on the cold hard ground. i have just felt really tired in this last season. and now i am feeling sick. i need a friend like you to take care of me, wanna come back to colorado?

4.11.10 - m.i.a.

missed mornings have turned into missed days,
and i don't know where my time is going.
seems like everything takes just a little too long:
the computer is a little to slow,
the photos too large to upload,
the internet crashes and loses my post one too many times.
this week has been just crazy
and i'm trying my best to stay afloat
- to take care of students,
take care of my husband,

take care of me.
i'm a whirling dervish these days,
which is just too bad because i am way better
when i settle down

and sit still

through my morning window

I've have called you children
I have called you son
What is there to answer
If I'm the only one
Morning comes in Paradise
Morning comes in light
Still I must obey
Still I must invite

If there's anything to say
If there's anything to do
I there's any other way
I'd do anything for you
-Sufjan Stevens

We went to his concert the other day, it was incredible, by far the best I had ever been to. I love these words, they comfort me in the morning.

meet your new nephew

his name is henry, and z surprised me with him today.

we just brought him home an hour ago and he is already awesome and feisty and playing with everything!

after a wedding in the mountains, faith is restored, and my heart is full

"Like the White Queen, I find it a good discipline to practice believing as many as seven impossible things every morning before breakfast. How dull the world would be if we limited ourselves to the possible."
-M. L'Engle

sorry it has been so long since i have posted. the weekend up in the mountains was great, it was snowy yet warm all at the same time. it was full of love and hope and a reminder of the sweet spots in life that you carry with you for a long time.

my halloween was just about as exciting as yours, we made pizza and watched aliens with some friends. but still, our home was full of people we love. i will give you a call soon. love you.