fettuccine and frustration

z and i went to bed frustrated with each other after a bowl of fettuccine.
so that means i was up early, going for a long walk. remembering who i
am, forgiving the ones in front of me and acknowledging my humanity.
it is fall, it is a time of death, it is time to grieve. it is time to remember
the pain of the last season, take it all into account, feel it and be with it.
then you take all the pain, rake it up like the leaves, and throw it away
in the garbage. is that not what we must do every season, remember all
that has been and move on, with joy and gratitude. that is what we must
do, otherwise we become cold, stale, and unforgiving. i want my heart of be soft.


The Fear of Love
I come to the fear of love
as I have often come,
to what must be desired
and to what must be done.

Only love can quiet the fear
of love, and only love can save
from diminishment the love
that we must lose to have.

We stand as in an open field,
blossom, leaf, and stem,
rooted and shaken in our day,
heads nodding in the wind.
-W.B.